I've been fortunate throughout my life, I've never had to say goodbye to a loved one. I was very young when my Grandpa Joe died, so the details are fuzzy. I have my memories of my Grandpa Joe, but like a lot of my childhood the memories have become hard to remember. I never met my Father's parents, they passed before I was born. Unfortunately, this all changed this past Thursday.
My wife's Grandma passed after a long battle with cancer at the age of 80. My wife's family has become my own. I don't say mother-in-law, father-in-law, brother-in-law, I feel they are my family, my mother, my father, my brothers. This rings the truest when it comes to Grandma & Grandpa Conti. They are MY grandparents also, not just Missy, Joey, or Scott's. I know they feel the same for me, that's why they are so special to me. Grandma never made me feel left out on anything, at all. I was sometimes one of the first to eat (sorry Joey), the first to get a kiss hello or goodbye, and I believe I was the last person Grandma yelled at. (not intentionally - she was heavily sedated)
About two weeks ago, Missy & I talked Grandpa into going home for the night. Grandma was in the Francis House for over 40 days, and Grandpa stayed with her every night except one. I was blessed to spend one night with Grandma, all by ourselves. Needless to say, I didn't sleep much, and the conversation was limited to the night nurse on duty. But what little words were spoken between Grandma & I, will be the ones I will keep in my memory for ever. She told me that she loved me and told me that I was a good boy. Words became more difficult to understand a couple of nights later, and then she started taking a turn for the worse. Those words didn't really sink in, until right now. How fortunate I am to hear Grandma say those words to me. It's not always that people get a chance to say goodbye, or say I love you one more last time, but I was blessed to hear both.
Missy & I were with Grandpa almost every day at the Francis House. (I believed we missed 3 days) We became Grandpa's support group. Wether is was bringing him dinner, a movie to watch, a laugh to have, or a cold beer, it was Missy & I there for him along the way. Grandpa new this, which is why he called our house Thursday morning. I couldn't understand what he was saying, I asked if he wanted me to get mom on the phone. All I could hear was, "Just you and Missy, I want you and Missy here." Missy just got to school, and I new I couldn't wait for her. We spoke before this happened that Missy didn't want to be there when Grandma died, I understood and couldn't blame her. So Missy headed home to come up with her parents, while I went to the Francis House to be with Grandma. Thankfully Grandpa was with his sister-in-law when I got there, so he wasn't alone.
..... it was less that 10 minutes before she passed, so peacefully... All I could do was try to be there for Grandpa, I had so much emotion, pain running through me, but I couldn't cry. All I could think that Grandma would tell me to stop being a blabber ass (something she called Grandpa all the time). I was there - with her - when she left all of us, these are my memories, my moments in time that I will never forget.
Out of the pain of this great loss, is something so remarkable, so magical, I didn't know how to explain it until this moment. There was no doubt Grandma was the heart and soul of this family. She was the rock, the core of the family, everyone leaned on her for support. She was as strong as an ox, but at the same time loving as only a person could be. Who would fill this void, this loss, who could everyone depend on. I never thought my wife would be this person, but she has become more like her Grandma than I ever though possible. What she has gone through everyday for the past month and half is not something Granddaughters don't do. Work all day (kindergarten teacher), come home, make dinner for us and Grandpa, heading up to see Grandma every night, then coming home and talking to the rest her family to let them know what's going on. Her social life disappeared, he sleep became diminished, and she never complained. I feel some how Grandma new how strong she was, when nobody else did. Moments in life are defined in these special moments.
So with this I say good-bye to Grandma, but I know she will be with all of us everyday. My memories will not fade away with her, because I see her in my wife's eye's everyday day now. My wife is my rock, my core, my support. So thank you for my memories Grandma Conti, I love you and your a great woman.
